enroute; or 'first time meeting'
In O'Hare airport in Chicago, and after months of talking about it, it's finally hitting me that I'm actually going to Japan. To another country. To another country with a different language and completely different alphabet(s) and with things I've never seen before and things I have no idea existed and where nothing and no one will be familiar and after 13 hours on an airplane (13 hours on a plane) I'll be there. For a year. ... And ... I had a little bit a panic attack sitting in gate C11. Panic attack sounds so clinical and serious, but as I sat there, reading my "Culture Shock!: Japan" book (which, really, I wish I would've looked at more closely before I bought because the author made a lot of assumptions when he chose his "voice" for the book and they're not assumptions that I neccessarily want to buy into). But, anyway, I was there, in this empty gate, with my book, not knowing which gate my flight was in because they ahdn't posted flight information yet because it was still five hours until when the flight left, and not knowing where to go to find out where to go to ask about my flight because all the "?" booths were empty, and feeling stupid and silly and incompetent for not knowing where to go to ask and stuffing my carry-ons so full that I couldn't walk comfortably very far. And then realizing that I did have this long, long flight before complete immersion in ... I have no idea. And feeling very out of control and wondering why I did this in the first place and how I would be able to be friendly and open and nice to people if I was feeling so scared and unsure.
But, then a lesson that I'm sure I will need to remind and re-remind myself of over and over again during this year (and likely for the rest of my life): when you feel overwhelmed or sad or too sorry for yourself, it is infinitely good to get up and go out and do something. I walked around. Just to the monitors with flight information, and the flight still wasn't listed, but I remembered the flight status was listed on United's website this morning. So I checked that, and found out I happened to be right across the corridor from the gate where my airplane was scheduled to come in. And then I saw an Asian family speaking a language that I couldn't understand (which, unfortunately, definitely means it could have been Japanese) walk into that gate. Awesome. And then a woman, unasked, saw I was looking for a plug in for computer and pointed one out to me. Again, awesome. So, I don't know if I actually resolved any of the feelings that caused me to feel so unprepared and so overwhelmed, or if I just distracted myself, but I felt better. I feel better. So, don't get caught up in the little sphere of your life immediately surrounding you, and if you do, remember that - get out. And, see? A lesson and a happy, happy ending in the O'Hare airport.
Other things of note:
- Saw the sun rise on the flight from Fargo to Chicago. Reflected red in the lakes.
- Over some PA system in the airport - I don't think it's from the airport-wide system; it might be from the Brookstone across the corridor from my gate - a cover of 'leaving on a jet plane' is playing.
Japanese phrase of the day: hajime mashite. how do you do? (This is apparently a basic Japanese phrase, according to both Culture Shock! and my Japanese phrase book. Somehow it didn't get included in my flashcards of basic phrases. It must be memorized before I meet TK's son at the airport.) Hajime mashite. How do you do? (According to phrase book, it's a phrase that one uses only when one meets someone for the first time. I remember Tony used something that he said literally translated as "first time meeting" and that you only used meeting someone for the first time when he wrote out how to say "My name is..." on a sheet of paper that, somehow, got misplaced during my move.) Hajime mashite. First time meeting. Here we go.
But, then a lesson that I'm sure I will need to remind and re-remind myself of over and over again during this year (and likely for the rest of my life): when you feel overwhelmed or sad or too sorry for yourself, it is infinitely good to get up and go out and do something. I walked around. Just to the monitors with flight information, and the flight still wasn't listed, but I remembered the flight status was listed on United's website this morning. So I checked that, and found out I happened to be right across the corridor from the gate where my airplane was scheduled to come in. And then I saw an Asian family speaking a language that I couldn't understand (which, unfortunately, definitely means it could have been Japanese) walk into that gate. Awesome. And then a woman, unasked, saw I was looking for a plug in for computer and pointed one out to me. Again, awesome. So, I don't know if I actually resolved any of the feelings that caused me to feel so unprepared and so overwhelmed, or if I just distracted myself, but I felt better. I feel better. So, don't get caught up in the little sphere of your life immediately surrounding you, and if you do, remember that - get out. And, see? A lesson and a happy, happy ending in the O'Hare airport.
Other things of note:
- Saw the sun rise on the flight from Fargo to Chicago. Reflected red in the lakes.
- Over some PA system in the airport - I don't think it's from the airport-wide system; it might be from the Brookstone across the corridor from my gate - a cover of 'leaving on a jet plane' is playing.
Japanese phrase of the day: hajime mashite. how do you do? (This is apparently a basic Japanese phrase, according to both Culture Shock! and my Japanese phrase book. Somehow it didn't get included in my flashcards of basic phrases. It must be memorized before I meet TK's son at the airport.) Hajime mashite. How do you do? (According to phrase book, it's a phrase that one uses only when one meets someone for the first time. I remember Tony used something that he said literally translated as "first time meeting" and that you only used meeting someone for the first time when he wrote out how to say "My name is..." on a sheet of paper that, somehow, got misplaced during my move.) Hajime mashite. First time meeting. Here we go.
posted by kathy at 12:19 AM
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