enough

from Mitsuo Aida*


While I have so many things
There is this anxiety inside me that says

It's not enough
It's not enough



Why is that?

---

Here
Now
Myself

The sum of these parts
Equals my life

---

Because some lose
Some can win

---

There is no one in this world who can claim that
They do not owe their existence to someone else.
Everything we know,
Everything we do,
And everything we have made in our world,
Exists because of others.

---

I want to be alone
But being alone is so lonely.

---

...I decided to keep that feeling forever deep inside me.
As the fire burned
I saw myself risking my life for love
I felt my blood boil with determination
I could see myself devoting everything to my life's work
And I saw myself living this life that heaven gave me
With passion, pureness and no regrets. ...
...And I realize
This is how I always want to be.
One life, forever learning.
One life, forever young.

---

The type of work makes no difference
Faces of those who live life to its fullest are so beautiful
I want my face to be beautiful too.

---


*i could find very little about mitsuo aida in english on the internet, which is a shame. mari recently lent me three english translations of his books. while assisting with her class several weeks ago, one of the questions i asked was 'what's the date today?' when some classes struggled, she pointed to a calendar on the wall and said 'mitsuo.' i, because of stellar japanese skills, thought 'mitsuo' was the word for calendar. nope, the calendar was done in calligraphy by mitsuo aida. she lent me his books.


i realized, i think, finally, that pursuing the things you think you're supposed to want and the things that you actually do want are two very different things.