a hundred times

"A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life depends on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the measure as I have received and am still receiving."

Albert Einstein

omikuji

Blue sweep of heavens
wide and clear -
might my heart share
their spaciousness!

Asamidori sumiwataritaru ozara no
hirokio onoga kokoro tomogana

- from Meiji Shrine, Tokyo. May 26, 2007. 100 yen.



Also, after an evening of playing wireless bowling, tennis and brain teaser video games, there's something that's especially unsettling and guilt-inducing about hearing an African woman cough in the background of a transcontinental call.

And - good news! Today, found out that the next teacher will arrive on June 30. June 30. That's 26 days from now. Oh, help help help me that nothing truly horrible happens in the classroom in these next few weeks. But that also means that I only have 3 more "regular" weekends left. Odd... strange that this is experience is coming to a close like this. I know I shouldn't feel like a failure because I do feel like I've tried as hard as I possibly could and done everything I could do... but, I still failed. I couldn't do it.

oh, 26 - my endless numbered days.


"Why am I afraid to dance, I who love music and rhythm and grace and song and laughter? Why am I afraid to live, I who love life and the beauty of flesh and the living colors of the earth and sky and sea? Why am I afraid to love, I who loves love?" - Eugene O'Neill, "The Great God Brown"